Only thirty days until my newest book, TEACHER TATTLETALES and Other Southern Shenanigans will be released.

Here are some cRaZy similes found in written essays. Which one do you think is the funniest? 

  1. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30 p.m.

  2. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, and the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. 

  3. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.