I’ll Give You a Minute to Mullet Over

From: The Fayette News

Hey, y’all.

Do you remember the 1980s and the mullet haircut? You may have worn one yourself. Don’t feel embarrassed. Well, maybe you should if someone pulls out some old-timey picture of you with one. Don’t feel bad. You were in good company – George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Paul McCartney, Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Bolton, and many more had that same hairdo. Today Billy Ray Cyrus and Rod Stewart still keep theirs.

             

What say? Some of you do not know what the mullet is? There is even a book, The Mullet: Hairstyle of the Gods by Mark Larson for you to read and reminisce about your previous haircut…or educate some of you if you have not been exposed to that ‘do’ of the 1980s. If you are not aware what a mullet hairstyle is, the mullet-cut is a style in which the hair is short at the front coupled with a long mane in the back. Let’s be real – it’s really just a neck beard! The mullet has been making people ugly since the dawn of time. Think of the Geico Caveman commercial. I’ll give you a minute to mullet it over.

Also think about Samson and his story from the Bible. Samson’s long hair served a purpose and if it was ever cut, he would lose his strength. Many of the Biblical movies from the 20th century had the men of the Bible wear the mullets.

There are some celebrities who continue to own one: Billy Ray Cyrus and Rod Stewart come to mind. And do you wonder why they keep the same haircut? My guess is they know the secret of never looking old in pictures. Can anyone say with certainty, “Is that picture of Billy Ray from the 1980s or 2000s?” or “That Rod Stewart never seems to age.”  Well, that’s because he has always looked old. You really can’t tell. And that’s the point. Keep the same do and you never grow old in pictures.

The celebrities that moved on did so sooner than later but then there was Michael Bolton! He kept his style a little too long. Man his was ugly as homemade sin. I don’t know why there is the saying, “Business up front. Party in the back.” But I do believe that it’s true to say the mullet blocks the sun, therefore you can’t get a red neck.

Did President Trump have a partial-mullet in the 1980s? I know his was long in front but it was longer in back. But weren’t most everyone you knew in that decade carrying this cut? He was no different trying to be stylish, but whoever told him that hairdo looked good, lied. Not even Chuck Norris or Joe Dirt can pull this ‘do’ off.

Women were just as bad: Ellen Degeneres, had one. Florence Henderson just about beats all of the women who ever had a mullet. You know her…the mom from the 1970s Brady Bunch TV show? Bless their hearts.

I think if you keep the same style cut you never look old. Think back on Doris Day, Princess Grace, and Audrey Hepburn. Today those still looking young with the same cut are: Halle Berry, Julianne Moore, Sandra Bullock, and Jennifer Aniston.

 

                         

 

And maybe Donald Trump.  (Look at Trump’s hair! Not John-John Kennedy! Although I know you can’t help yourself.)